There comes a point every year when I feel really exhausted to the point of questioning the very reason why I keep on teaching. For this year, it just came a bit early.

You see for the past few years that I’ve been teaching, this type of feeling would always comes late in the year - usually during the last trimester of school. (When the students I’ve been pouring my heart out to in terms of effort have not yet shown any progress.) This year, however, I’m starting to see the familiar symptoms this early - stomach aches, hyper acidity, migraine attacks, and occasional loss of interest.

I’m not sure if it’s because of the extra role that I’ve been given, or if it’s the major change in administration, or if it’s the extra 9 units of studies I’m taking on top of everything else. All I know is that I’m tired - so spent serving several masters at the same time - work, more work, studies, and family. Don’t get me wrong though. I don’t feel any apprehensions toward any of them. I guess what’s just really making it tough for me right now is the fact that I have a lot of expectations for myself and for what I could and should do - at home and in school. But really… what can I do?

All I’m craving for right now is a break. Vegas vacations, work moratorium, family outing - I don’t really know which one I prefer most. All I know is that I’m close to freaking out and I’m up to here in terms of stress. Whatever it is I have to figure it out before I literally and figuratively explode!

When I first started teaching, my definition of the work was nothing more than what I had formulated based on previous experiences with my own teachers. A teacher is someone who teachers and imbibes knowledge to students. A teacher is a professional who gets paid to make students learn using any or everything in his/her assortment of arsenals - textbooks, exams, reports, and now even the internet.

After 5 years of living it, my definition has grown to something a bit more abstract and complicated. Teachers are not defined by their work. They are defined by their devotion to their profession. Their main objective is not to pass on knowledge. (That I feel is secondary if not coincidental.) Their primary goal is to inspire students to want to seek knowledge on their own.

And with lives of children hanging on their shoulders, they bear a huge weight - the responsiblity to shape each and every child they teach to become the best that he/she could be regardless of how much they’re willing to be changed.

Now that my definition of a teacher is complete, I’m proud to say that I am a teacher, and that’s what I do. That’s the cross I bear and the badge I’m deeply honored to wear.

There’s something about a new office that inspires people to work - the smell of new cubicles, the feel of new air-conditioning units, the overall atmosphere. Just as any makeover seems to help forget past troubles, a new office brings a refreshing feel of work.

You see, this year the school decided to provide the teachers a brand new, air-conditioned office complete with individual cubicles - a very welcome reprieve from a day’s worth of lecturing, standing, confusion and chaos. It comes fully furnished with chairs and extra tables. All that’s left is for the teachers to decorate and customize their own private areas.

And since it’s my first time to personalize my very own office space, I was excited to customize everything. I would always ask andrea to take a look at office furniture shops whenever we go to the mall in order to check out the most appropriate trinkets and supplies to adorn my cubicle. So far, I was able to procure a desk organizer, a new set of clips, push pins, and a new pair of scissors. Next time we go to the mall, I’ll be getting some book holders, a cork board and a few other items.

Hopefully I’d get to finish decorating my cubicle next week.

After the seemingly long summer (long because of the many piled up work we were assigned to do), it is finally time to start to school year again. In fact, last Friday we already had a taste of the classes that we are supposed to teach for the whole year. And even though it saddens me to say goodbye to the break, I have to welcome this school year with open arms and optimism, because whether I like it or not, it has begun.

The whole school and the mechanism that runs it has been set in full gear with the arrival of the students. The classrooms, the library, the laboratory and even the canteen has welcomed its first batch of kids last Friday. Even the chairs, fans, boards and books are ready for another 10 months of constant use.

There’s no denying it anymore. Summer’s gone and school has begun!

Working in a school named The Little Farm House, one would normally expect to see farm animals around. I did see them - chickens, dogs, and even cows. But in this unique farm house, there are more than just farm creatures. There are also lots of other exotic and wild animals like pythons, owls, crocodiles, carnivorous fishes, giant hairy spiders, and even scorpions.

Actually, I’m thinking if The Little Zoo would have done more justice to the place. You see, aside from the animals, it also comes complete with cages, labels, caretakers, and even an elaborate system of pet supplies (where they grow the food they use to feed the other creatures). It’s really like a small zoo that serves as a classroom for students - a venue to learn hands-on, experience and appreciate nature at its best. It’s a zoo that teaches that’s why it’s a zoo school and a school zoo at the same time.

Last Saturday, I witnessed the graduation of my first ever advisory class. It was a bit sad because up until that day, I never fully realized that I was going to lose them. You see, it was just then that the reality of the whole event hit me straight in the face.

I guess it’s because I take the kids for granted. Every time I see them in school, I couldn’t help but look at them as if they were still the same kids that I once handled, the same rowdy but sweet bunch of innocent students, the same rambunctious and yet inquisitive group of teenagers, the very first class of kids I considered as my own sons and daughters (virtually the same except for the fact that they’re a bit taller, huskier, more exquisitely handsome and beautiful now). I never realized that in the last three years that they were not under me, they were steadily maturing, growing more independent, and slowly but surely becoming adults, and also, to my selfish side’s dismay, establishing stronger bonds with other teachers.

You see, when I saw them, for the last time, go up the stage one by one to receive their diplomas, that’s when the reality started sinking in. I wanted to cry. The only thing running through my mind at that time was that I will not be able to see these kids anymore after the ceremony, at least not everyday like it used to be for the last four years. That’s when my tears welled up. However, it was not until when they paraded off, then hugged and bid goodbye to their present teachers that the tears dangerously came close to falling.

This, I guess that was the final blow that truly symbolized how much they’ve grown. Because as much as I wish that it was me that they were saying goodbye to, I know that that was how it was supposed to end. My children have indeed grown and learned to form bonds with other people. I just have to accept it. Perhaps, four years ago it would have gone the way I wanted it to but the sad truth is, they’re not just mine anymore.

There was nothing I could do except to recall pictures of them from way back when they were still under me - their funny antics, our many serious conversations about being mature, the punishments I gave them for not putting their chairs back in order, the leche flan frenzy, the hilarious slips that gave birth to the tradition of the word of the day. Everything! We would never have those again. Heck, we won’t even see each other anymore. And as much as I would like to stop them from leaving, I have to let them go.

I felt like I wanted to say so much to them but I don’t really know how to start. I’m sure they’ve heard everything I could possibly say from their other teachers so what’s the point?

I guess it’s a good thing our paths never crossed again after the march. I don’t think I would’ve been able to say goodbye to them without letting tears drop from my eyes and I don’t want that to happen. I mean, it’s enough that I have memories of them that I will share and cherish. There’s no need to share tears as well. After all, they’ll always be the first class I ever loved and first love never dies.

If you read my previous post, you’d know that I was dreading the thought of another school field trip. You see, having experienced so many trips before, I didn’t think that there would be any more places that would be worth seeing…at least not until yesterday. Why?

What’s so special about yesterday? Well, we went spelunking! Yep, not just climbing, nor just trekking, but spelunking. Pretty neat huh?! So what’s that you say? Spelunking is just a geeky term for cave exploring. Actually, to be more technical about it, it’s the sport of caving. You see, for the field trip, the grade school students of hedcen and some of the faculty members went to Biak-Na-Bato, a famous group of cave formations in Bulacan that were formerly used by Filipino insurgents that fought the Spaniards and Japanese colonizers back in the time of the 2nd World War. The idea I guess was to experience geology and history by visiting the natural structures that once served as refuge and sanctuary for our brave ancestors who spilled their blood to fight for freedom.

Structures that serve as monuments of time…

Structures that became witnesses to our ancestors’ gruesome stories… Continue reading »

Tomorrow, I’ll be going to Bulacan to accompany a group of students on their field trip to Biak-na-Bato. I’m a little excited but, at the same time, dreadful because of a lot of reasons.

For one, the students that I’m going with are much younger than the students that I usually handle (fourth and fifth graders). These are children that are around 10 to 12 years of age, which means rowdy and boisterous bunch of girls and boys. Second, I still have a ton of things that I have to finish before the week ends. Third, out-of-town trips are usually tiring enough even without having to watch over students. Fourth, since the destination is far, assembly time would be really early, as in 5:30-in-the-morning kind of early.

On the other hand, a field trip is a field trip. It’s still a break from work even though it entails accompanying the children. Might as well enjoy it!

Finally, the science expo eliminations has come to a close. We’re done with the presentations, the judging and the setting up. All that’s left is to tally to scores and determine the best projects in each division.

Of course, I have my biases. I can’t wait but hope that my advisees make it to the top of their divisions. I am genuinely proud of most of them. But, alas, I can’t do anything about the scores. The outcome depended purely on the judges’ call from the moment that the presentations began. Now, all I have to do is to bear the suspense and wait for the official announcements.

I can only cross my fingers…

After being reminded by my old teachers of how notorious we were in high school, I couldn’t help but wonder if there really is such a thing as karma. Why?

Because this year I had a total of 8 disciplinary cases in my section alone. As a matter of fact, 4 of  my students are still in specially-arranged suspensions right now.

Is this pay back for what we did? Am I getting a taste of what we gave our teachers back then? But I can’t recall being the culprit even once. I will even proudly say that I just happened to be in the section where the culprits are. Yes, these culprits may be my friends. Yes, I may have laughed at their antics too but I don’t recall being the actual one at fault for any of the disciplinary cases that we were involved in.

I’m not so sure. Perhaps my biggest fault was that I never stopped them, or that I was simply alright with them pushing through with their ideas. I don’t know! All I know is that my students now are probably in the same league as I was or we were before.

Perhaps, this is my second chance to do something about the problem. So that instead of just sitting back and carelessly watching everything unfold like what I did before, I can now have a hand in correcting things. Because whether this is karma or not, I have a responsibility to these students to give my best in forming their characters.