Aside from the fact that I would miss them terribly, the other important reason that I have for telling andrea to hurry to Brunei is the fact that I don’t want my kids to grow up forgetting me. This is especially true for my little girl. Since Anika was only 4 months old when I left, it would be relatively easy for her to get used to not having me around. I don’t want that.

So just three months later, they’re all here with me now and we’ve successfully established our home here in Brunei. (Well, not completely established, I guess, since we’re still missing quite a lot of things that we used to have back in the Philippines. But I don’t really mind.)

The important thing is that we’ve reestablished our routines and are trying to tailor-fit them to our somewhat full schedule. Anika would go to me whenever she wants to be carried and lulled to sleep but she goes to andrea when she wants milk. My sore muscles are a testament to that. (Actually, I’m considering looking for the best creatine supplements to relieve fatigue in my arms and increase muscle energy).

Mateo, on the other hand, would still ask me for a massage before going to sleep. It’s an effective way to relax him and put him to sleep.  These are things that they specifically go to me for. No this is not gloating, but at least I’m sure my kids would never forget me. Our days of being apart are almost forgotten and I’m looking forward to an even more regularized but comfortable stay with them in Brunei.

Let’s face it. The fastest way to a kid’s heart is to give him or her a toy. This holds true especially for my son. In fact, no matter what mood he is in, or if he even knows you or not, if you give him a toy, you’ll almost instantly win him over.

This is the reason why I was on the lookout for kids gift ideas under $20. I want to give him a present when he comes here. But since I don’t exactly have a lot of money, I’m afraid I can’t give him anything more than $20. In fact, I’m not even sure I can buy him anything above $10.

Hehehe! If only kisses would suffice for four-year-olds. Tsk! tsk! tsk!

Is the move to Brunei a permanent one? Honestly, I cannot say. Before coming here, I thought to myself, we’ll be doing this because of a dream of putting up our own school. I’m not ready to leave the country where I was born permanently. Aside from the fact that most of my relatives and friends are in the Philippines, the culture we grew up in is also the same kind of culture I want our kids to imbibe – culture of hospitality, culture of close family ties, culture of high regard for learning, and a culture of respect and courtesy.

However, the more I think about it, the more reasons I see to start building on a different dream. For one, the country I came from is now nursing and forming a culture quite different from the one we know. The effect of globalization is quite pronounced in the Philippines as well as in other countries, so the culture we’re dreaming of immersing mateo and anika in is merely a faint shadow of a global culture of the present.

Second, since Brunei is not that far away from the Philippines as the other countries are, the people we love and value are just literally 2 hours away (plane ride of course), so visiting is not a problem. If we can’t visit, then maybe they can.

Third, although not as competitive as other Asian countries, Brunei supports its people adequately. In fact, there’s no need for you to invest in a Medicare part D plan, especially if you’re a citizen. Medical benefits are provided by the government for free.

However, as far as our dream of having our own school goes, I think this is something we seriously need to consider. It’s the only thing that staying here for good does not have an answer to.

Starting off from scratch is not easy. That’s why I’m a little scared of how things are going to be for the next few months. With two kids to make it more challenging, andrea and I are looking forward to a lot of sacrifices and hardships, but we know it’s all going to be worth it, for as long as we’re together.

So far, the house I’m renting is still without a lot of furnitures or appliances. The sofa and a single bed came with the place so we’re really thankful for that. The fridge is borrowed from a friend and co-worker (lots of thanks to T. Gen), while the air-conditioning unit (although secondhand) is still currently our most expensive purchase (we’ll be paying for it till May).

Outside the house, potted plants surround the area. They’re not ours as well. They are all from the landlord too and I only water them from time to time using the hydraulic hose outside.

Aside from these, everything else came from the Philippines. That’s why I’m hoping that Andrea brings more so we don’t have to buy so many. It’s going to tough but I know we’ll survive.

It’s amazing how priorities change because of family. You see, when I was a bit younger, one of the things in my list (of first items to buy when I get a job) is a car. I don’t remember exactly what the order was but there was a laptop there somewhere and a pad of my own.

Now, almost 10 years after, the top of my list consists of a washing machine, a mattress, and a refrigerator. Funny right?! I guess that’s how drastic things change when you have a family already. Your family’s needs will always come first.

Forget about owning or spending on thermogenic fat burners, workout machines, coupes and other luxuries. The things you will consider most important to you will change once you have other people to take care of other than yourself. It’s simple really. That’s because these people will be the most important people in your life. Everyone and everything else (including yourself) will just be in close second.

With time slowly winding down, I only have a little over a month to prepare everything that we would need once andrea and the kids get to Brunei. No, I’m not even talking about step tools with handles. I’m talking about the basic stuff like stove, refrigerators, tables, and mattresses – things we’ll need for everyday living.

By the time they arrive, I’m supposed to have found a house or room already, and most of the basic necessities. I’m also supposed to squeeze in some visa applications, may be even consider licence renewal or upgrade, and some work adjustments.

I know it’s really going to be tough but I’d rather go through all that than let my kids grow distant from me. So please God, give me strength!

Lately, every time I sleep I make it a point to run my hand across my babies’ faces in order to remember how nice their skin would feel. I’ll be missing them for a few days so I’m trying to make the most of the time left.

I just hope none of them get any acne or skin infection from what I do to their faces. I would hate for any of them to get rid of acne at such a young age. Their skins are so smooth and silky that I’m hoping they remain this beautiful even when they reach high school.

That’s when their mettle would be really tested.

We pay for the decisions that we make. This we know already from previous lessons. However, you can never fully realize the extent of the consequence of your decisions until other people become involved with the outcome.

What decision exactly am I talking about? It’s the choice of raising a dog, Aria. Mateo was almost two and a  half years old when we got our golden retriever pup last 2009. Since andrea and I both love dogs, we thought that raising a puppy would be alright. Mateo would get the added benefit of having to take care of one while growing up, so it seemed like the perfect time.

Despite all the chewing, the mess, the smell, the hair, and everything else associated with a growing puppy, we managed to survive. Aria became our watchdog, mateo’s playmate, and eventually, part of our family. However, things would turn out differently from what we had planned.

When we decided to pursue the opportunity to work abroad, Aria suddenly lost a place to belong to. Ever since we moved back to andrea’s home, she remained on a leash, confined to a small corner in the garden, and deprived of the same attention we used to give her. Eventually we decided to find her a new home, a new owner to take care of her, someone who would give her everything we couldn’t anymore. Last Friday, we did, and she went home with her new master.

It was painful enough for us to watch her go, so we decided not to let mateo know about it yet. Earlier today, he realized for the first time that Aria was gone. However, he didn’t cry like we expected. Instead he took andrea’s stuffed dog (the one I gave her on our first anniversary), went outside, and hugged the toy while trying his best not to let his tears fall. I asked him why and he just told me that he was sad. That was the most heart wrenching part of the whole ordeal.

It took me a lot of time and effort to make him understand why we had to let Aria go. He still doesn’t seem to fully comprehend the situation, even the way he feels about the whole thing. But what can I do? Letting her stay would be more detrimental than giving her a chance at freedom and happiness with someone else. Plus, the one who took her is very well versed with golden retrievers having raised one beautiful male himself.

I can’t remember exactly if he is one of those website builders or call center representatives but it doesn’t really matter though. When he brought his dog to our home, we knew he was capable of taking better care of Aria. I just hope mateo somehow realizes this. Our hearts ache whenever he looks longingly at the now empty space where Aria used to stay.

Anika has been going back to her twilight schedule lately. In fact, yesterday, I had to rock her in my arms until 2 AM before she finally fell asleep. The dark circles under eye are testament to our struggle. However, we still don’t know why she’s been having trouble sleeping.

She regularly catches a 15-45 minute snooze though but that’s it. At night, when she’s supposed to sleep, she’ll be really sensitive to sounds and would easily wake up at the slightest noise. However, during the day, she’ll sleep without problems until lunchtime.

If only we could match her sleeping schedule, things would be a lot easier. Unfortunately, we can’t. Andrea and I both have obligations to the work, the house, and of course, to mateo.

So I guess, until anika reverts back to regular sleeping schedule, andrea and I would be having less sleep ourselves.

Just like last year, we’re having an early Christmas this year because mateo has been insisting on decorating the house already. He saw where the Christmas tree was kept and demanded that we take it out and start putting it up.

At first I was opposed to the idea because not only do we have lots of clutters in the house, but we also have little space left because many of our things from antipolo are still taking up room in the garage. However, after convincing his mamu and papu to put up Christmas decorations, I finally gave in.

Now, the Christmas tree sits on the garage and a lantern adorns the kitchen with glowing balls of light. There are still a lot more decors to put up though, but I’m sure it’s not going to take long before mateo insists on having all of them hung. It’s just a matter of time.