Among the many changes that Mateo brought to our lives, one of the funniest and probably the most bizaare things is the sudden appreciation for baby gifts. You see, andrea and I are used to buying gifts for people - for each other, for our friends, moms and dads, teachers, co-workers and even our co-workers’ babies.

And among the people we gave gifts too, the one we’ve had the hardest time choosing gifts for is each other. That’s because, when we give each other gifts, we take the time to choose the most unique one. At least that was before Mateo.

You see, now, whenever there’s an occasion that would allow us to buy gifts, we take the most time scouring gifts for Mateo. In fact, we take twice as much time as it took us to look for gifts for ourselves. We go through all the baby stores we could find for the most unique baby gifts available before we actually decide which is the best one to buy. That’s how meticulous we’ve become thanks to our little baby! I’m just not sure that’s a good thing!

You know you’ve changed when you see yourself shopping for items in the mall that you’ve never thought you’d go shopping for before. For example, when andrea and I used to go on dates, whenever we’d pass by the department store, she’d always ask for time to look at swimsuits, regardless of what season we’re in. I, on the other hand, would look at rubber shoes. Now, however, we’d spend hours and hours rummaging through baby clothes and apparels. Even when we’re in bookstores, we’d catch ourselves browsing through coloring books, puzzles, and Barney or Backyardigan accessories.

In fact, yesterday, even after deciding to go to the mall to unwind and spend some quality time together, we ended up looking for mateo’s new toy - a soccer goal. Unfortunately, the only one we could find was too large and bothersome to set up inside the house so we had to go home empty handed.

Oh well, I guess this is what it means to be a parent!

It’s just a few more weeks to our 10th high school reunion and so far I’m having mixed emotions about the whole thing. I’m excited to see my batchmates but at the same time, I’m not too eager to brush elbows with them yet. Why?

The only reason I could think of is that I’m anxious. Perhaps it’s because the thought of comparing lives and achievements with one another just seems a little daunting right now. You see, on the financial side, I haven’t been able to amass insanely huge amounts of money unlike most of my batchmates who chose the corporate life. Being in the education business, I have very little (if none at all) opportunities for acquiring millions. In terms of professional growth and development as measured by position, I’m no vice-president nor branch manager. I mean I finally managed to become a coordinator this year, but let’s face it. That’s still a tad short of a vice-president position. Right?

What I do have however, and I’m proud to say so, is a beautiful family - a gorgeous, loving wife and our not-so-small anymore angel of a baby. They are my treasures, my life and my everything. But as much as I would like to compare accomplishments with my batchmates in that aspect, I don’t think I’ll be able to because most of them are still far from getting married. That’s why I’m almost 100 % sure that family life will take a backseat in this reunion’s conversations.

Perhaps on our 20th reunion, me and my batchmates will see eye to eye when they have children of their own too. Perhaps by that time, they’ll understand what kind of work and achievement is involved in establishing and supporting a family. But until then, I guess I’ll have to wait. I just pray they don’t take too long - hopefully before mateo is old enough (and vain enough) to start asking for an acne scars cream or facial cleanser. Haha!

It’s more than a hundred months since andrea and I got together. It’s more than 2 and a half years since we got married. It’s been significantly long since our story as a family started and yet andrea mateo and I still have no roof of our own over our heads.

Apparently, it’s not that easy acquiring a property nowadays. No matter how much foreclosure help i find, getting around to procuring enough for a downpayment is more monumental of a task than I thought. Huhu! And as the head of the family, it’s a burden I bear heavily on my shoulders.

Sometimes, I even get to the point when I would think about how andrea and mateo would be right now if I was a bit richer or if andrea decided on marrying a richer guy. Would they be more secured? Would they be happier?

It’s quite depressing contemplating on these things but as the saying goes… reality bites - sometimes even harder than you could imagine. I know andrea and I had plans of having a house of our own early. And even though, based on others’ standards, some people think it’s still quite early, I can’t help but feel that it’s not. I mean mateo’s growing really fast. Soon, andrea and I would have to decide about whether we’ll have another baby or not. Before you know it, we’ll have more bills to pay and less money to allocate for our own abode.

Bit by bit our dream of a house is slowly fading. I’ve got to do something about it before time runs out - no matter how drastic or tragic it takes.

I’m seriously getting worried about mateo’s health. Just this morning, I had to rush his poop to the hospital before going to school because the color was alarmingly green. Not to mention, it has a very liquid consistency - all telltale signs of amoeba infection. Yet it hasn’t been a week since he finished his cycle of medication for the same condition.

Even Mateo’s pediatrician couldn’t believe the results when I informed her about the outcome of the lab test. She was in such disbelief that she scheduled an appointment for tomorrow just to check up personally on Mateo’s condition. But the results are shockingly very conclusive. I saw how green his poop was and how liquid the consistency was. Even I couldn’t argue…

Anyway, the only thing we could do, at least until we gets confirmation from his pediatrician, is to put him back on medication. So now, instead of just his food, milk, water, change of clothes, diapers and a few toys, he has a separate luggage devoted to his medicine.

Poor baby. It just tears my heart into pieces seeing him take all his meds. I hope you get well soon babsy! I hope you get well really soon!

Mateo has been on and off antibiotics lately, first because of amebiasis, and now because of tonsillitis. It seems that his immune system has been significantly compromised. This is why andrea and i are now figuring a way to pinpoint where the problem started and how to solve it.

So far the only thing we’ve figured out was that whatever compromised mateo’s immune system must have been airborne. We didn’t show any symptoms of whatever he’s having so that means he must have caught it somewhere else… most probably school. That’s also why we thought about 2 ways of addressing the problem: (1) keeping him at home or (2) if he stays there, then making sure he has a safe place there.

In the first option, we can’t help but hesitate because of various reasons I’ve mentioned in my last post. In the second option, however, we’re limited in methods of virusproofing a place in school. I mean there are not many Santa Fe dehumidifiers around to filter out allergens and viruses so this is quite a difficult option too.

The only things we have now are options, worries, and a sick mateo.

Recently, Mateo has been coming with us to work and spending an average of 7 hours in school, sometimes even longer especially during occasions when andrea and i need to attend meetings. It’s no wonder that he’s already contacted a cold. I mean with all the interactions he’s getting with so many students (both sick and healthy), I guess he’s bound to encounter at least 1 with a virus that he can’t fight against yet.

It’s really very frustrating. Andrea and i are torn between letting him stay at home or allowing him to continue accompanying us to work. You see, both have very real and significant consequences.

On one side, he’s already entering the age of wild curiosity. He’s always testing everything, tasting anything he could get his hands on, seeing how far he could throw objects, and running all over the place. He likes exploring the school grounds so much that I fear we’d need a GPS just to make sure he doesn’t get lost. It is because of this that I want to let him spend his time in school where there’s so much he can learn and experience.

On the other hand, if he does spend a lot of time in school, it would mean exposing him to more threats such as viruses, accidents, and even some not-so-nice habits - all of which he could get from other kids. The more I think about it, the more I realize that school isn’t really a place for babies. But then again, mateo’s not such a baby anymore.

Before Mateo was even conceived, andrea and I already planned of having a baby early. The main reason is, she’s been diagnosed to have a polycystic ovary. You see, according to her gynecologist, the possibility that she’d conceive a baby would drastically decrease as she ages, so she’s encouraged to have one as soon as possible. (This is aside from the fact that pregnancy reduces or slows down cyst development.)

It’s not that it would be impossible for her to conceive if she waits a few more years. The doctor was just afraid that it might reach the point when she’d have to undergo hormonal therapy if we wait too long. That means months or probably even a year or more of regulated progesterone intake. She’s worried about the possible side effects! (Not to mention the cost!)

So in order to avoid all that, we decided to go ahead, get married and leave everything to God. We said, if He wills that we should have a baby already, then He would also provide us with the means to support the baby. So after a year of getting married, out came Mateo. Haha!

In the end, we might not be the wealthiest family in Antipolo, but we managed to make ends meet. Our family is complete, my wife is healthy, and we’re happy! That’s all that matters really!

It’s month-end and just like any other month-end ever since Mateo came to our lives, we’re almost out of cash again. I know it’s been more than a year and we still haven’t adjusted our budget adequately to fit our baby’s fast-growing needs. Huhu!

Sometimes I can’t help but think about a time before Mateo when andrea and I would still have an account to check in the bank. Yes, it was a checking account, but it was an account nonetheless. Unlike now, we don’t even have any to inspect no matter how much we want to. That’s why I can’t blame Andrea whenever she worries about the fact that we don’t have any stash left for emergencies. The only answer I would often give her is a pat on the back.

The only funny thing about these times when Andrea and I would be pushed to thinking about whether we made the right decision in having Mateo this early or not is that he seems to figure us out right away. You see, during these times, Mateo just simply looks at us and shows us the most beautiful smile that seems to say everything would be fine.

Being a dad has its down sides.  There’s the sudden lack of time for so many recreational activities such as sports and malling. There’s also the additional burden of providing for more than just yourself and your wife. And of course, there’s the stereotypical daddy tummy!

You see, before andrea and I got pregnant with mateo, we were absolutely certain that we wouldn’t fall into the same trap that has befallen most couples - the trap of an almost sedentary and yet busy parents’ lifestyle. We vowed to have the same things we had when we were still dating - the sports, the malling, the relaxed atmosphere, the fit bodies. (We were both physically active before!)

Now I understand, like so many couples before us, we were wrong. And the sadder part is no matter how much we try to get back the life we had before mateo, we realize that it would never be the same again, at least not while mateo is still with us. We are bound to miss out on so many movies, so many malling opportunities, and so many other fun activities. I’m even already starting to grow the familiar daddy tummy! No amount of diet pills and wishful thinking could change that!

But being a dad is not without its perks. For one, getting home and being greeted by an overly-excited baby is just simply overwhelming. Also, andrea misses me more now (why? go ask mateo hehehe!). And being hugged by both your wife and your son from all directions while sleeping beats everything!

So until mateo decides to leave us and walk his own path, I guess I’ll just have to continue enjoying the ups and downs of being a dad!