When I was little, we had very little variation when it comes to choices of snacks and treats. There’s the familiar brownie, choco fudge, chiffon cake, or sometimes even rice meals. For treats, we had chocolate nuggets, jelly, chocolate gold coins, and when possible, ice cream.

Nowadays, people choose from a number of flavors of instant noodles. In fact, when I went to the hypermarket earlier, there were several shelves that were dedicated for instant stuff alone.

I told myself we’d never reach that point when we don’t have any other option for mateo or anika’s snacks. Never mind if they’re forced to take on rice meals, so long as they don’t depend exclusively on instant noodles.

After a long time, I’ve gotten a chance to do the grocery myself. Earlier, andrea told me to buy some stuff already from the market because we’re running out of things to cook and eat in the house. I figured it would be faster to go alone so we agreed to put mateo to sleep while I went to do the groceries in SM Fairview.

At 12, I headed to the Hypermarket section. It wasn’t my first time doing this. I used to buy stuff alone in Shopwise while andrea and mateo waited for me at home. That’s why I was surprised to find myself estranged with the whole activity. Then, I realized  something.

It wasn’t because I don’t shop regularly by myself. It was because I’ve been with my family everyday for the whole day since we moved back here to Novaliches. It was the feeling of not having them by my side that’s making doing groceries strangely unfamiliar.

I’m not just a home buddy. I’m a full time stay-at-home father and husband.

It takes a baby to remind you of how precious time is.

You see, before anika was born, I would usually sleep at around 1 or 2 am because i’d be finishing some articles for submission. It’s not really much of a hassle though because I get to watch some video streams of my favorite anime shows in between articles or during breaks when I need to clear my head for the next composition. Also, I get to sleep after mateo goes to school or when he takes his afternoon nap.

Now, however, I stay up until 3 AM or when anika decides to sleep. Sometimes, she stays awake from 1 AM to 3AM. Sometimes, she wakes up every hour from 11 pm onwards. No, I’m not the one who feeds her. I’m the one who burps her and hums her or rocks her to sleep. I step in after she gets breastfed or when andrea couldn’t feed her anymore. Then when andrea sleeps with anika, I resume writing articles.

So far, Andrea and I alternate writing, sleeping, and anika chores. But no matter how well we coordinate with each other, we just can’t seem to find enough time for everything. We currently lack sleep, lag in articles, and feel really tired.

When andrea was worrying about the bills during our last day in the hospital, I reminded her of what our colleague once said about babies - Each baby comes with his/her own baon. I told her anika comes with hers too, we just have to wait and look for it. It was a frail attempt to make her laugh but she showed a smile anyway.

Although I know he didn’t mean it literally, but it would have been a bit more comforting if indeed anika came out with a bullion of gold in hand, or a golden egg. Instead, she came with nothing but a deeper appreciation of life for us. She may not have been accompanied with money or treasure, but she came with a wealth of understanding for us. Because for the first time, we fully realized how difficult and miraculous deliveries are, and how fortunate we are to have both mama and baby alive and well.

Never mind about the money. I told andrea that we’ll be given means to get the help we lacked, and sure enough we did, in the form of people close to us. What’s truly important is that they’re all right – with painful surgery yes, but healthy nonetheless.

Five days after anika’s grueling delivery, andrea is now feeling  the after effects of the operation. Her feet are swollen (a common side effect of epidural anesthetics) and her tummy wound hurts whenever she changes positions especially after staying in 1 position for a long time.

Yet, despite of all the pains and the changes, one of the first things she still adamantly craves for is losing weight. According to her, now that anika’s out, she has no more excuse to be fat. It’s been almost a week and she’s becoming impatient about losing all the weight she gained from the pregnancy with anika.

I told her to take it easy. Even if we do find a great weight loss product, she’ll still have to wait for her wounds to heal before she actually loses those extra pounds. Apparently, CS deliveries take far longer to recuperate than normal ones. Besides, I’d always love her no matter how she looks like. Even if she doesn’t go back to her usual slim self.

By 5:30 AM of August 5, andrea’s cervix has fully dilated, or at least that’s what I thought I heard. That’s why they’ve started asking andrea to push since 5:30. I, on the other hand, was called into the DR by 7AM. Perhaps because that was supposed to be the peak time of the labor (when they expected the most pushing to happen and when anika was expected to come out).

Unfortunately, when I came, she wasn’t crowning yet. The doctor explained that anika was not going down as expected. Something keeps on pulling her back up after each push. They tried several methods until finally the doctor decided that it was going to be less risky if they did a C-section instead of going through with the normal delivery. They gave us a deadline. By 8:30, if the situation doesn’t progress, we’ll have the operation. We agreed.

When 8:30 came, andrea and I sadly said yes to the doctor, but we know it’s for the better. After cutting in, they immediately discovered that anika’s umbilical cord made several coils on her body (1 around the neck and 2 around the shoulders much like how the straps of a backpack go around the armpit). All the doctors in the room hurriedly work on getting her out of the coils and checking her vitals. She seemed okay.

I was relieved. I remember asking myself about what to give people after having a daughter delivered – oliva cigars, daisies, dolls? I had no idea. All I know was that I was just so happy to see my baby. I wanted to cry but I didn’t want to make andrea worry. The doctors were still working on her but the atmosphere seemed a bit more relaxed after anika came out.

Except for the fact that andrea was still lying on the table and getting stitched up, everything was so beautiful. My wife and my baby were safe and so the world seems perfect again.

On the morning of August 4, andrea woke us up with a news of a bloody show. I knew then that it wouldn’t be long before anika would come out. I told her to get ready so we can head off to the hospital, but she hesitated. She said she wasn’t feeling the contractions yet. So I brought mateo to school first, went home, leisurely continued packing, then picked up mateo from school before heading to Cardinal Santos Medical Center.

On the way, that’s when she felt the contractions – regular, 8-minute spaced tummy contractions. But instead of panicking, she was calm. In fact, she wanted to eat lunch at Pizza Hut first before proceeding, so we did. Afterwards, we calmly went to the delivery room where her conditions were assessed. By this time, her cervix has dilated by 3-cm.

Before reaching the hospital, mateo fell asleep. When andrea went inside the DR, mateo and I waited outside where I continued mateo’s Daxter game in the PSP. At around 2 pm, andrea’s mom arrived. She volunteered to keep an eye on mateo while I settled the deposits and got a room ready. When I went back to check on andrea, her dilatation hasn’t progressed yet. But she was given permission to stay in our room.

It wasn’t until 11:30 that evening that she was readmitted in the delivery room and made to stay in the labor room until the next day. Although throughout the whole afternoon her contractions were getting stronger to the point that she was grimacing in pain already, it took her until 5:30 the next morning to completely dilate.

And even though I wasn’t with her the whole labor, it was comforting to know that the people around her were very accommodating. Apparently, medical assisting schools in the country are still producing good products.

Actual delivery to follow.

With all the changes going on, the one that is most affected of all of us is our little kuya. Yes, mateo is affected more than he lets on. In fact, whenever we ask him, he says he’s very excited but his actions seem quite the opposite. He’s been more stubborn the last few days than ever. I don’t know if it’s his way of establishing his very own semblance of order or if it’s all a form of defiance to the changes around him. Either way, he is struggling.

We’re not so surprised though. We expected this much from mateo. Although we tried to prepare him really well for the changes, we know the actual experience is going to be different. This is the reason why we thought of buying him something as a gift from anika – to ease the transition and acceptance.

You see, a few months ago, when we passed by the department store, we searched for toys that the two will give each other during their first meeting in the hospital. For kuya, we thought of a black train. For anika, however, it was a bit more complicated. We wanted mateo to give her riding boots, or a dress, or maybe a rattle, but at the same time we also wanted mateo to choose which one he’d like to give her. In the end, mateo got the train and a puzzle bear (the bear we gave already, but the train is still in hiding), and anika got the rattle along with a loot bag of other action figures. Hehehe!

A few days before August 4, andrea was already feeling some of the symptoms of childbirth – cramping, contractions, dissolution of the mucus plug, etc. So on the night of August 3, we already packed our things ready for our impending stay in the hospital. Here are some of the stuff we brought.

• 3 days worth of change of clothes
• our papers (Philhealth, medical records, marriage contract)
• PSP (for mateo and occasionally for me)
• chargers for the phones
• my laptop (planned to work while waiting or when doing nothing)
• toiletries (toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, soap, and a towel)
• and some of anika’s would-be clothes

We were set, or at least we thought we were. Because in the end, we ended up doing groceries on our first day there. We had no snacks. No water. No extra tissues, and even my laptop restarted a couple of times (seems like whatever router they’re using there is making my laptop go haywire, which is quite unfortunate because I had no laptop insurance whatsoever).  Despite having gone through everything with mateo before, we still forgot how the whole hospitalization thing worked. Hehehe! Good thing friends and families kept visiting and supplying us with food and other necessities. Hehehe!

When we were initially planning for our 2nd baby (Vivienne), we figured it would be safe and better to try out other hospitals (aside from St. Luke’s). First, we kinda knew what to expect – the labor, the intervals, the timing, and even the pain so that part we had covered. Second, we had an idea of how much it costs to deliver a baby. We spent around 50k for mateo in a ward in St. Luke’s. Obviously we wanted to find a cheaper alternative that wouldn’t compromise health and safety.

These are the reasons why we checked out other options – FEU hospital which is closer to andrea’s parents; and Manila East because it was closer to our home in Antipolo. Both had lower rates, were practically close, but known also for good quality. Unfortunately, things had a funny way of working out.

We realized it wasn’t entirely our decision. After getting to know our very reliable and amiable gynecologist, we realized that our choices of hospital are limited to the hospitals that she attends to, effectively narrowing down our choices to Manila East and Cardinal Santos Medical Centers. Then, before we could fully prepare for what seemed to be the only remaining option in our initial choices, we had to move back to QC. Goodbye Manila East. Hello Cardinal!

Cardinal Santos, at first, seemed to be a fine choice. Actually, in a lot of areas, I believe it still is. The small private rooms were adequate for a very limited number of visitors, but that’s alright. They had air-conditioned lobbies, free wifi access, and lots of coffee shops. They had sparking-clean, almost hotel-quality comfort rooms, and a very friendly staff.

The only thing I didn’t like was that everything inside, like in all private hospitals, seemed overpriced. The food in the canteen was expensive. The supplies were all expensive. Even the nasty metal parking construct that looked like one of those metal buildings was overpriced. Imagine, charging you 150 per overnight stay despite being confined already in the same hospital. What a ridiculous idea!

If not for the really expensive bill, I’d be glad we stayed in Cardinal Santos. However, whenever I think about the money…. UUgghhh!