There comes a point every year when I feel really exhausted to the point of questioning the very reason why I keep on teaching. For this year, it just came a bit early.

You see for the past few years that I’ve been teaching, this type of feeling would always comes late in the year - usually during the last trimester of school. (When the students I’ve been pouring my heart out to in terms of effort have not yet shown any progress.) This year, however, I’m starting to see the familiar symptoms this early - stomach aches, hyper acidity, migraine attacks, and occasional loss of interest.

I’m not sure if it’s because of the extra role that I’ve been given, or if it’s the major change in administration, or if it’s the extra 9 units of studies I’m taking on top of everything else. All I know is that I’m tired - so spent serving several masters at the same time - work, more work, studies, and family. Don’t get me wrong though. I don’t feel any apprehensions toward any of them. I guess what’s just really making it tough for me right now is the fact that I have a lot of expectations for myself and for what I could and should do - at home and in school. But really… what can I do?

All I’m craving for right now is a break. Vegas vacations, work moratorium, family outing - I don’t really know which one I prefer most. All I know is that I’m close to freaking out and I’m up to here in terms of stress. Whatever it is I have to figure it out before I literally and figuratively explode!

Aside from the water, the rainy season brings with it so many other things - unwanted things to be more specific.

For starters, rain showers cause a lot of people to catch cold. This is because the sudden change of temperature and the prolonged exposure to rain significantly compromises one’s immune system thereby increasing the chances of viral infection.

Secondly, when rainwater accumulates in small pools, it becomes an inviting nesting ground for mosquitoes. This is why Dengue cases are always at their highest during the rainy season.

Lastly, when rains occur, we, (both andrea and I) being teachers, have to strain our vocal cords in order to win against the overwhelming background sound that the rain produces as it batters the roof and the walls of the classrooms. (Sometimes it makes you wonder how different it would be if classes were held inside in las vegas hotels where soundproofing is a common feature of every room.

And the list goes on and on. If I went through all of them, it’d be Christmas before I get to the last one. I’m telling you… when it rains, it really pours.

Among the many changes that Mateo brought to our lives, one of the funniest and probably the most bizaare things is the sudden appreciation for baby gifts. You see, andrea and I are used to buying gifts for people - for each other, for our friends, moms and dads, teachers, co-workers and even our co-workers’ babies.

And among the people we gave gifts too, the one we’ve had the hardest time choosing gifts for is each other. That’s because, when we give each other gifts, we take the time to choose the most unique one. At least that was before Mateo.

You see, now, whenever there’s an occasion that would allow us to buy gifts, we take the most time scouring gifts for Mateo. In fact, we take twice as much time as it took us to look for gifts for ourselves. We go through all the baby stores we could find for the most unique baby gifts available before we actually decide which is the best one to buy. That’s how meticulous we’ve become thanks to our little baby! I’m just not sure that’s a good thing!

When I first started teaching, my definition of the work was nothing more than what I had formulated based on previous experiences with my own teachers. A teacher is someone who teachers and imbibes knowledge to students. A teacher is a professional who gets paid to make students learn using any or everything in his/her assortment of arsenals - textbooks, exams, reports, and now even the internet.

After 5 years of living it, my definition has grown to something a bit more abstract and complicated. Teachers are not defined by their work. They are defined by their devotion to their profession. Their main objective is not to pass on knowledge. (That I feel is secondary if not coincidental.) Their primary goal is to inspire students to want to seek knowledge on their own.

And with lives of children hanging on their shoulders, they bear a huge weight - the responsiblity to shape each and every child they teach to become the best that he/she could be regardless of how much they’re willing to be changed.

Now that my definition of a teacher is complete, I’m proud to say that I am a teacher, and that’s what I do. That’s the cross I bear and the badge I’m deeply honored to wear.

Before andrea and I got married, I used to pass by sporting stores everytime to check the latest weight equipment available. That’s because I was hooked on weight training during college. No I’m not a muscle buff. Heck, I won’t even qualify as toned. I just used to dream of putting up a complete exercise setup at home - a setup that would provide a total body workout. That’s all.

Now, six years after college, all I have left are some weight discs, a dumbbell and a pair of flabs. I guess not all things turn out the way you want them too.

As much of a relief as it is from the heat, the rainy season brings some very troublesome things. For one, it makes getting up for work a Herculean task. I mean who would want to get up early when the bed provides so much comfort against the cold, right? Second, it makes commuting a puzzling obstacle course as you navigate the streets carefully in order not to splash water on people and on yourself too. Third, because the coldness prevents your sweat from quickly evaporating, it makes the skin more oily than usual. This is why I used to experience acne breakout during the start of the rainy seasons. Fortunately now, I’m past the age of looking for the best acne treatment. I just simply wipe off the sweat and oil clean. But that’s as far as the third reason is concerned. With regard to the first two, those I have no answers for yet!

That’s why even though I’m not very fond of summer, I’m not a fan of the cold weather either.

I’m not a fan of generators but there were times when I really wished we had one - before (more than a decade ago) and just recently (about 2 weeks ago).

When I was still in third and fourth grade, when gas prices were still very much affordable, the whole country was badly plagued with frequent blackouts. I can’t exactly remember the reason for these power interruptions but what I won’t forget are the sleepless nights I had to endure as a kid especially since we relied on electric fans heavily for comfort. You see, the place where we used to live was not entirely well-ventilated so when power is out, we’d have to sweat ourselves to sleep.

And now, several years after, just when I thought that blackouts are a thing of the past, it happened again and on the day before I was to be formally observed in class (just 2 weeks ago). The lights went out before 8 pm and was never restored until 5 the next morning. THE STRESS…!

I so wanted to go to SM right there and then to buy a generator when I suddenly remembered how insanely expensive gasoline was! It was just a good thing I woke up early the next morning so I had enough time to work on my props before class started.

You know you’ve changed when you see yourself shopping for items in the mall that you’ve never thought you’d go shopping for before. For example, when andrea and I used to go on dates, whenever we’d pass by the department store, she’d always ask for time to look at swimsuits, regardless of what season we’re in. I, on the other hand, would look at rubber shoes. Now, however, we’d spend hours and hours rummaging through baby clothes and apparels. Even when we’re in bookstores, we’d catch ourselves browsing through coloring books, puzzles, and Barney or Backyardigan accessories.

In fact, yesterday, even after deciding to go to the mall to unwind and spend some quality time together, we ended up looking for mateo’s new toy - a soccer goal. Unfortunately, the only one we could find was too large and bothersome to set up inside the house so we had to go home empty handed.

Oh well, I guess this is what it means to be a parent!

It’s just a few more weeks to our 10th high school reunion and so far I’m having mixed emotions about the whole thing. I’m excited to see my batchmates but at the same time, I’m not too eager to brush elbows with them yet. Why?

The only reason I could think of is that I’m anxious. Perhaps it’s because the thought of comparing lives and achievements with one another just seems a little daunting right now. You see, on the financial side, I haven’t been able to amass insanely huge amounts of money unlike most of my batchmates who chose the corporate life. Being in the education business, I have very little (if none at all) opportunities for acquiring millions. In terms of professional growth and development as measured by position, I’m no vice-president nor branch manager. I mean I finally managed to become a coordinator this year, but let’s face it. That’s still a tad short of a vice-president position. Right?

What I do have however, and I’m proud to say so, is a beautiful family - a gorgeous, loving wife and our not-so-small anymore angel of a baby. They are my treasures, my life and my everything. But as much as I would like to compare accomplishments with my batchmates in that aspect, I don’t think I’ll be able to because most of them are still far from getting married. That’s why I’m almost 100 % sure that family life will take a backseat in this reunion’s conversations.

Perhaps on our 20th reunion, me and my batchmates will see eye to eye when they have children of their own too. Perhaps by that time, they’ll understand what kind of work and achievement is involved in establishing and supporting a family. But until then, I guess I’ll have to wait. I just pray they don’t take too long - hopefully before mateo is old enough (and vain enough) to start asking for an acne scars cream or facial cleanser. Haha!

It’s more than a hundred months since andrea and I got together. It’s more than 2 and a half years since we got married. It’s been significantly long since our story as a family started and yet andrea mateo and I still have no roof of our own over our heads.

Apparently, it’s not that easy acquiring a property nowadays. No matter how much foreclosure help i find, getting around to procuring enough for a downpayment is more monumental of a task than I thought. Huhu! And as the head of the family, it’s a burden I bear heavily on my shoulders.

Sometimes, I even get to the point when I would think about how andrea and mateo would be right now if I was a bit richer or if andrea decided on marrying a richer guy. Would they be more secured? Would they be happier?

It’s quite depressing contemplating on these things but as the saying goes… reality bites - sometimes even harder than you could imagine. I know andrea and I had plans of having a house of our own early. And even though, based on others’ standards, some people think it’s still quite early, I can’t help but feel that it’s not. I mean mateo’s growing really fast. Soon, andrea and I would have to decide about whether we’ll have another baby or not. Before you know it, we’ll have more bills to pay and less money to allocate for our own abode.

Bit by bit our dream of a house is slowly fading. I’ve got to do something about it before time runs out - no matter how drastic or tragic it takes.