With mateo and anika, we already have a complete set – a son and a daughter. This is the reason why we’ve originally planned on stopping at two. However, now that anika is already nearing the toddler stage, we’ve started considering the possibility of a third, and maybe even a forth.

No, this is not an announcement of an impending third. I have no intentions of passing out macanudo cigars anytime soon. In fact, andrea and I have agreed to wait for another year or so to check if conditions (financially, physically, and emotionally) are still favorable before deliberately trying. Both our kids have been a blessing to us and we’re not closing our doors on receiving more.

So, we’ll see. Next next year, maybe?!

Who doesn’t want a fancy house? I know I do. I’m sure it would be nice to have some customizable lighting, some designer furniture, or maybe even a flagstone patio outside. After all, it’s free to dream, right?!

However, when I think about it seriously , fancy is not really something I am willing to go for. I know because that would mean more work, more responsibilities, more stress, and ultimately less time with my family. Unfortunately, that is something I am not willing to sacrifice. For me, as long as I get enough money and time to provide my wife and two kids the necessities, I’m happy. After all, the best investment that you can give your family is your time and love.

Opportunities entail sacrifices – sacrifices that are sometimes big enough to shake the very reason for even considering the opportunity in the first place.

You see, when I chose to leave the country, the first and foremost reason I have is to financially save enough for my family – not for fancy cars, a luxuries house, or even a desire for a more comfortable job. It is for my family. Yet, now that the decision entails immersing mateo in a foreign culture and risking him picking up not-so-nice behaviors from his would-be classmates, my original reason of family seems a bit questionable.

Are we really willing to let mateo learn a few negative traits from others for the sake of providing him a more comfortable life? If saving up for family entails putting your family at risk, would you do it? That’s basically how I feel right now. I’ve seen several unfavorable behaviors of students in school and I’m afraid of our son getting influenced by them. I mean, it’s not like mateo can already enroll in some  bsn online courses and learn the basics without attending formal school. He’s supposed to be in Kindergarten, one of the most impressionable levels of school.

This is what’s been bothering me and andrea for quite some time now. I just hope some enlightenment comes before it’s too late.

I like the place that we’ve found. It’s quiet, surrounded by greeneries, and has a spectacular view (since we are a bit elevated). It more or less reminds me of the home that we left in Antipolo.

However, as far as the house is concerned, it is relatively newer than the one we lived in for almost 3 years. The main difference is that it is quite bare as far as fixtures go. You see, the one we left behind in the Philippines came with built-in cabinets, a pendant lighting in the dining area, and even a complete sofa set. The one we have now, on the other hand, does not only have a smaller floor area, but it also comes with very few furnitures as well.

This is why we’re still on the lookout for some cabinets, a mattress, and even some blinds for the kitchen. Oh well, beggars can’t be choosers. hehehe!

Aside from the fact that I would miss them terribly, the other important reason that I have for telling andrea to hurry to Brunei is the fact that I don’t want my kids to grow up forgetting me. This is especially true for my little girl. Since Anika was only 4 months old when I left, it would be relatively easy for her to get used to not having me around. I don’t want that.

So just three months later, they’re all here with me now and we’ve successfully established our home here in Brunei. (Well, not completely established, I guess, since we’re still missing quite a lot of things that we used to have back in the Philippines. But I don’t really mind.)

The important thing is that we’ve reestablished our routines and are trying to tailor-fit them to our somewhat full schedule. Anika would go to me whenever she wants to be carried and lulled to sleep but she goes to andrea when she wants milk. My sore muscles are a testament to that. (Actually, I’m considering looking for the best creatine supplements to relieve fatigue in my arms and increase muscle energy).

Mateo, on the other hand, would still ask me for a massage before going to sleep. It’s an effective way to relax him and put him to sleep.  These are things that they specifically go to me for. No this is not gloating, but at least I’m sure my kids would never forget me. Our days of being apart are almost forgotten and I’m looking forward to an even more regularized but comfortable stay with them in Brunei.

Being a teacher and a person of logic as well as of sarcasm, I believe in the use of rationality and reasoning to win arguments. Since arguments, I believe, are nothing more than intellectual battles of opinions (especially when you strip them down of all pretenses), they should be resolved with nothing more than logic and wit. At least, that’s what I thought.

Apparently, here in Brunei, arguments are a bit different. As I unfortunately learned the hard way through an argument with a parent, race surprisingly is a factor. Sadly, despite insisting my concern for his child and the goal of instilling a sense of responsibility in her, the parent forces his side with arguments like “This is not the Philippines. This is Brunei.” and “That’s nonsense. These are kids (referring to his own daughter who happened to be a year away from graduating from the primary or elementary level). You shouldn’t give them options.” And as if he made a sound enough argument with his retorts, he even abruptly leaves our conversion by walking away and shouting in front of the other parents, teachers and students, “Use your brains. Use your brains”.

Hhmmm. I guess victory goes to him for having the last words in our argument. But then again, I wonder…

A school is a very complicated institution, the workings of which are intertwined closely between its many and varied components such as its personnel, staff, faculty, parents and obviously, students. It is the harmonious relationships between these parts that make a school grow and prosper.

However, like any complicated organism, the school too is bound to experience a lot of problems, glitches, and occasional hiccups. So what can we do about it?

Unfortunately, unlike other businesses that can be solved by automated systems such as the inetsoft business intelligence software, schools don’t have a single solution to its hugely diversified challenges. In my limited years of teaching, the only ingredients that seem to work are patience, open communication, and optimism. I guess it’s just a matter of finding the right combination of the three for a particular problem.

Let’s face it. The fastest way to a kid’s heart is to give him or her a toy. This holds true especially for my son. In fact, no matter what mood he is in, or if he even knows you or not, if you give him a toy, you’ll almost instantly win him over.

This is the reason why I was on the lookout for kids gift ideas under $20. I want to give him a present when he comes here. But since I don’t exactly have a lot of money, I’m afraid I can’t give him anything more than $20. In fact, I’m not even sure I can buy him anything above $10.

Hehehe! If only kisses would suffice for four-year-olds. Tsk! tsk! tsk!

Is the move to Brunei a permanent one? Honestly, I cannot say. Before coming here, I thought to myself, we’ll be doing this because of a dream of putting up our own school. I’m not ready to leave the country where I was born permanently. Aside from the fact that most of my relatives and friends are in the Philippines, the culture we grew up in is also the same kind of culture I want our kids to imbibe – culture of hospitality, culture of close family ties, culture of high regard for learning, and a culture of respect and courtesy.

However, the more I think about it, the more reasons I see to start building on a different dream. For one, the country I came from is now nursing and forming a culture quite different from the one we know. The effect of globalization is quite pronounced in the Philippines as well as in other countries, so the culture we’re dreaming of immersing mateo and anika in is merely a faint shadow of a global culture of the present.

Second, since Brunei is not that far away from the Philippines as the other countries are, the people we love and value are just literally 2 hours away (plane ride of course), so visiting is not a problem. If we can’t visit, then maybe they can.

Third, although not as competitive as other Asian countries, Brunei supports its people adequately. In fact, there’s no need for you to invest in a Medicare part D plan, especially if you’re a citizen. Medical benefits are provided by the government for free.

However, as far as our dream of having our own school goes, I think this is something we seriously need to consider. It’s the only thing that staying here for good does not have an answer to.

Starting off from scratch is not easy. That’s why I’m a little scared of how things are going to be for the next few months. With two kids to make it more challenging, andrea and I are looking forward to a lot of sacrifices and hardships, but we know it’s all going to be worth it, for as long as we’re together.

So far, the house I’m renting is still without a lot of furnitures or appliances. The sofa and a single bed came with the place so we’re really thankful for that. The fridge is borrowed from a friend and co-worker (lots of thanks to T. Gen), while the air-conditioning unit (although secondhand) is still currently our most expensive purchase (we’ll be paying for it till May).

Outside the house, potted plants surround the area. They’re not ours as well. They are all from the landlord too and I only water them from time to time using the hydraulic hose outside.

Aside from these, everything else came from the Philippines. That’s why I’m hoping that Andrea brings more so we don’t have to buy so many. It’s going to tough but I know we’ll survive.