I used to be able to go biking to and from work. There are even days when I play basketball on top of the biking sessions. Sometimes, when andrea’s in the mood, we even go jogging around the subdivision. In short, I used to have physical exercises when we were still in Antipolo, although still not as much as I would want to. That however is not the case anymore.

Ever since we moved to Novaliches, I stopped cycling. I also didn’t have time for playing ball or jogging. The only physical exercises I have include giving the dog a bath; washing the dishes; walking to school and from home when accompanying mateo to and fetching him; washing the car; and doing the laundry. The closest thing I have to an endurance exercise is carrying mateo on my shoulders when we’re in the mall, and staying awake still 5 AM in the morning waiting for anika to fall asleep.

I’ve been so out of shape that I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m 5 pounds heavier the next time I step on the weighing scale. I’m not feeling hopeless though. I know that in a matter of months, our baby will be more than capable of being left behind, and andrea and I could get back to walking or jogging.

I promised myself I wouldn’t be needing any weight loss supplements for men. I’m hellbent on keeping that promise.

I’ve always wondered why teachers, particularly the happier ones, look so much younger than those of the same age engaged in other fields of work. I personally know co-teachers, parents of friends, and neighbors who are still teaching and are way past 50 yet they don’t look a day older than 40 .

I thought perhaps being with people that are so much younger keeps teachers from getting old, like the fountain of youth or something. At least I know that’s what I felt when I was still teaching. Although if asked, I’m not exactly sure what it is about the kids that makes teachers stay young. Is it their infectious enthusiasm, or optimism, or their being gullible? I can only speculate.

All I know is that I have already been out of teaching for several months and I’m starting to worry not just about the way I look, but also because I might be losing my connection to teaching and to the kids. I don’t really care much about the lines on my forehead, or the wrinkles when I smile. A shot of juvederm can cure that. But if I lose my connection to teaching and to the kids, I think that’s the time I’ll really start growing old really fast.

It has been almost 7 weeks since we started the nearly sleepless days with anika, which means it’s been almost 2 months of sleep deprivation for me and andrea.

Fortunately, anika’s sleeping habits has shifted a bit closer to regular sleeping hours these last few days.  In fact, her awake time, as we call it, now starts at around 3-5 AM in the morning instead of 1 AM - almost comparable to waking up early instead of the graveyard shift she used to follow.

I’ve been feeling a bit better now too since we’ve been having around 4 hours of sleep from 11 PM to 3 in the morning. (Guess I won’t be needing any acetyl l carnitine supplements to keep my energy up.) But I still can’t wait for anika to give us around 8-10 hours of rest every night because andrea and I need some break time from the kids. Perhaps in a few more months….

I’ve never really been much of an investor, nor have I claimed to ever think like one. I’ve always been more of a passive tester, one who doesn’t actively seek out adventure but does not refuse whatever comes along my way, that is until I became a family man.

Having to be responsible for more than yourself changes things and perspective dramatically. From being a happy-go-lucky person, I became a worry wort, constantly thinking about what to do next, how to make things work, and how to make ends meet. From being someone that owns only a coin purse, to someone who now carries a wallet, a purse, and several pockets, I can’t help but constantly think about money and my family’s future. I mean, time is not exactly waiting for me and my family, and it is slowly ticking farther away from our dreams and objectives. I can’t help it.

If only I had a gold bullion in my hands right now, things would probably be a little bit more convenient. Unfortunately, as most people know, things don’t always end up the way you want them to. In fact, most of the time, they turn out for the worst.

Now that I’m a little older and hopefully a little wiser, I’ve come to realize the mistakes I’ve made of not investing when I had something to invest. I won’t make the same error again. We’re trying our best to save as much as we can so we’ll have something to invest in the near future. I just hope we get to save enough before it’s too late.

I don’t care if people tell me that I would’ve continued to lose money by staying in Evergreen. I miss the place and the life we had there.

I promise we would get back to living on our own. And this time it would be in our own house.

Andrea has been losing a lot of pounds lately because of anika’s incessant feeding. Since our baby is exclusively breastfed, she suckles as often as once every hour or sometimes even more when she’s fuzzy. Yet, despite the rate with which she’s losing weight, andrea still feels fat especially around the tummy and the thigh region.

I told her it’s only normal for those areas to lose weight at a slower rate because those areas are still the least used or exercised. It will take a few more months before her tummy heals completely and before she’s well enough to do crunches or any abdominal workout. Her thighs will probably be ready sooner but until her tummy heals totally, the number of exercises she can do will be limited.

I told her that if ever we get invited to attend an event that would force her to dress up, then we could probably get compression stockings for the mean time. The idea seems to be okay with her but the cost is a different matter. She vowed to lose as much as she can and as fast as she can as soon as her tummy is completely healed. I told her it’s fine for as long as we get a go from her doctor.

It’s funny how time and experience play tricks on you to come up with the so-called wisdom of the age. Why? Because everything seems like a cycle that is bound to happen and trap most people and yet it’s the same cycle that causes them to have regrets later on in life. Confused?

You see, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about things, life, choices, where we’re at right now, where we’ve been, and where we hope to be. I can’t help but think that I’ve wasted so many opportunities that could’ve made things so much easier for us right now – a chance to go abroad like 5 years earlier before this; a chance to buy our own car or house at roughly around the same time; an opportunity to go back to studying and finishing a new degree; even get an insurance plan from so many cheap life insurance quotes; and so much more.

Yet, when I think about myself some 5 years ago I couldn’t remember feeling an ounce of regret for the things I didn’t choose. I didn’t want to go to Texas back then because it meant leaving andrea behind (who was still my girlfriend at that time). Yes, we also did have a chance to buy either a house or a car right after we got married because our applications for both were already approved. (We just tried applying to see what would happen) However, instead of doing so, we opted to have mateo. I convinced andrea not to delay having a baby because we found out that she had ovarian cysts. Delaying would mean increasing the chances of surgery and decreasing the chances of conception. Recently, I just chose to give up a good position to have a shot at a better one abroad, and now we’re here.

The thing is, if you were in my position, wouldn’t you have made the same decisions I made? At those times, I didn’t feel like I was acting purely on impulse. Each decision I made, I had to consider seriously and yet somehow I feel something akin to regret. Perhaps not as strong as the real thing but something almost similar. I still couldn’t help but feel like I could’ve done better to give my family a better life than we have now.

One thing that’s keeping me trudging forward though is the faith that we underwent all these things for a reason. All these things happened because there is a bigger plan for us. That’s what I’m counting on.