My son is the type of person that needs a little prepping up in order to get used to changes. He doesn’t do particularly well with changes, especially abrupt ones in situations where he feels powerless in. That’s why I’ve been slowly trying to introduce to him the concept of me leaving.

Unfortunately, it has not been very easy. Whenever i would mention the idea to him, he would always immediately respond with Sad na ko. And I know it’s not the silly pretend-kind of talk that little kids do. He really does feel sad. I’ve seen him break his heart several times whenever he and his beloved tita would part ways every weekend. (It’s heart wrenching to watch him turn from sad to angry whenever he sees his tita packing up and getting ready to go back to work for the following school week.) And I could only imagine how tough it’s going to be when it’s out turn to part ways.

So I try my best to slowly get him used to the idea. In fact, a few days ago, we got a chance to delve into the topic again when we were drawing.

I drew a tree house complete with swings, a slide, a ladder, and even outdoor lighting, and then I asked him if he would like to have a tree house like the one I just made. He said yes. I told him that I would be going to Brunei for a while to get enough money so I can make him one. He frowned at first. He didn’t say yes but at least he didn’t say no either. I told him how nice the tree house would be and how fun it would be to play inside it, and that’s when he started coming up with ideas of his own to add to his tree house.

I know it’s not completely a yes, nor is it a huge step towards acceptance, but that’s still improvement for me. I’m not exactly in a hurry to say goodbye to him either so for as long as I haven’t received my VISA and departure date yet, I’m going to keep on trying so it wouldn’t be that much painful for both of us (so it wouldn’t be as painful then as it is now).

Driving used to be fun and enjoyable, especially when andrea and I were just newly married. It was great to be able to go where we wanted to go anytime we felt like going. In fact, whenever I drove, especially at night, I felt free and at the same time, relaxed. However, things sort of went downhill after a few years.

When the red car started breaking down on us, driving started becoming risky. It’s not that I ignore safety signs or anything, but whenever we hear new sounds coming from the car, we couldn’t help but worry whether we’ll get home safely or not. (We’ve been towed twice in the red car by the way.) In fact, whenever we hear new rumbling noises from the car, I always felt like speeding up just to be able to get to the destination without breaking down.

Even after we sold the red car, and I started driving Papu’s VX200 Revo, driving never went back to the same enjoyable and liberating state that it used to be for me. With the malevolent and often unpredictable traffic, the cunning predators of the streets (MMDA), and the unstoppable oil price hikes, driving became more of a burdening task rather than a fun experience.

And, honestly speaking, I don’t think it would ever go back to the way it was. At least, not in the Philippines.

I know there are several types of lawyers available, and I know that the types can vary according to the area of specialty. However, I didn’t imagine that it would come to a point when specialization would rival the kind you see in medical doctors.

Mesothelioma lawyers, for example, are lawyers that specialize in Mesothelioma lawsuits. (Mesothelioma is a specific type of cancer that develops from the mesothelium, the protective covering of the body’s internal organs like the lungs and the heart.)  What in the world…?

If I remember correctly, even oncologists don’t specialize that much or individualize that specifically, although I’m not 100% sure. It’s so rare that it almost seems like a waste of time and energy to devote a career to something that doesn’t even occur that frequently, but then again I might just be mistaken.

Perhaps there is huge money in the litigation of mesothelioma cases. Perhaps, the fact that the condition arises from exposure to asbestos makes it a potentially lucrative field. I can only speculate. What  I do know is that it’s really amazing to know that there are actually attorneys that specialize in such cases.

One perk that comes with staying at home is getting to watch a lot of TV. In fact, most of the time, when andrea and I work, we usually work in front of the TV. We do this not just to get a break from the kids, but also because we get a lot of ideas and realizations  from watching.

Take the TV series America’s Next Top Model for example. We’ve gained newfound respect and perspective for modeling. I admit, before watching the show, we used to think that models had some of the easiest jobs in the world, worrying only about looking pretty and how to stay thin. Boy, was  I wrong.

I personally thought hairdressers and makeup artists had no formal training. I was surprised to find out from the show that some of them actually attended the cosmetology school in Orange Park just to be able to practice and hone their skills. That was an eye opener.

In other words, I had very low regard for them before I got hooked on America’s top model. That’s the kind of realization we get from TV. So for as long as I can still work from home, I’ll continue watching TV with my wife and learning a few more things.

I’m not sure whether the small rough patches on anika’s face will go away soon or they’ll be staying for good. But in case they do stay, I’m already looking for face cream reviews to find one that is mild enough for babies.

I’m not trying to be a stage dad here. I just want my baby to grow up beautiful and confident. I feel guilty enough as it is that she has darker complexion than her brother. She got that from me. But if she grows up with smooth skin like kuya, then her complexion would not be much of a bother. She still has her killer dimples anyway.

Andrea thinks that we can mold her to be confident about her looks no matter what. I told her we can, but only for a little while. Once she goes to school, and starts having friends and rivals, those little things (about skin) will come up and test her strength in character. That’s why I’m willing to help her out as early as possible. And if facial creams do work, then that would be my gift for her.

No amount of under eye cream would rival sleep. That’s one thing I learned from these last few weeks of staying up late with anika.

While it is true that creams would reduce the size of the bags hanging from under the eyes, they are still incomparable to the comfort and satisfaction that an 8-hour sleep could bring – something I’m looking forward to once anika turns 6 months old.

Unfortunately, we’re still a long way to go. She’s barely 2 months old and her sleeping schedule is still far from being regular. But if she’s anything like mateo, she’ll be sleeping like everybody else in a few weeks time.

When that time comes, eye cream or not, eye bags or no eye bags, I’m going to be sleeping like a baby.

They say positive things happen to positive people. So this is me being positive. Here are ten things I positively want to do once I get tons of  money.

1. Buy a big lot and then build a medium-sized house that’s powered strictly and completely by renewable energy sources (complete with solar panels, wind mills, and the newer alternatives).
2. Start a line of electric vehicles and charging stations in the country .
3. Build a school that’s also off the electricity grid (just like my ideal house).
4. Buy some gold coins from the United States Gold Bureau – the most stable form of currency of all time
5. Fund various researches of upcoming inventors to encourage discovery and inventions.
6. Establish a chain of coffee and pastry shops (for my wife)
7. Build a Sports gym where people can play all types of indoor sports
8. Start a racing circuit for electric vehicles.
9. Go on an African safari with family, parents, brothers, sisters, nephews and nieces
10. Build a resort in Palawan or in Davao.

Now, is there anyone who positively would like to give me money?

As much as I wanted anika to have the same complexion as her kuya, she didn’t. In fact, she’s a little darker than mateo (more like me than her mother). Her skin too is not as smooth as her big brother’s, but it’s not bad enough for us to go looking for the best acne treatments or anything like that. It’s just a little rough in some patches or areas, which I think will probably go away when she’s a little older.

What she has going for her though are her really deep dimples. She has one on each cheek and she knows how to work them well too. In fact, andrea and I would go gaga this early whenever anika flashes her smiles (which usually happens during those late night stay-ups). She’s also more responsive than her kuya when he has her age. I’m saying this because anika really makes an effort to imitate our mouths whenever we talk to her. She even tries to make the same sounds we do when we talk.

This early, we’re already expecting her to be a talker (noisy in other words) when she grows up, even more than mateo. And with killer smiles and dimples like that, I don’t think her complexion would matter much.

Sometimes dads can really be a real pain in the arse. I know, because I too have a dad. Fortunately, and ironically, I too am one now. And because of that, I’ve come to realize a little bit of the reason why.

Dads usually become arses when they want to be followed. This usually happens when they get overboard trying to make kids, or sometimes their wives, or everybody else to listen. It especially becomes more obvious and irksome when they get irrational because of their desire for their points to be heard, sometimes resulting in verbal sparring and the occasional cold shoulder treatments between family members.

It’s not that males, especially those with families of their own, are generally more irrational than females. No, that’s definitely not the case. Males and females are more or less equals in that area. In fact, males occasionally do better especially during times when their female counterparts are burdened with their monthly visitor.

It’s more of dads becoming a victim of their own pride. You see, when I became one, there is this overwhelming sense of pride that I felt when I saw my wife together with my son for the first time. You feel so proud of your family that you can’t help but feel proud to be the alpha individual in the group. It’s not hard to imagine how dads can get use to this feeling and eventually become victims to the illusion that it creates.

I know. I feel the same thing too especially when mateo pushes me to the edge with his antics and his refusal to listen sometimes. I get so mad at him sometimes that I really couldn’t help but be mean and harsh. I’m not proud of those times. They’re moments of weakness.

Fortunately, andrea often keeps a leveled head whenever I lose my cool. Thanks to her I can still detach myself and view things objectively, even if it was already after  an outburst.

I just hope I can keep my cool longer so that mateo wouldn’t think of me as an arse when he grows up.

The search for extra income is still on. And it will probably continue to be so for as long as I’m still here in the country. That’s why I’m getting a little impatient about my application. It will probably still take a week or two before I receive any news or update on the status of my application, but what can i do?

For the mean time, I’m squeezing as much as i can from online gigs to make some extra money. Heck, I’m even considering taking on weight loss affiliate networking to earn some serious dough. My goal at the moment is to earn earn earn. Never mind from where. After all, beggars can’t be choosers.

Until my news from my application comes, that’s what I’ll be doing.