With May looming ahead, I can’t help but feel anxious and stressed about starting work again. In fact, my stomach has been acting up and I’ve been feeling really acidic lately. I’ve got to stop worrying or I’ll be needing a wrinkle cream and a bag of antacids soon.

But honestly, I don’t want to start work yet because I’ve really enjoyed this vacation… so much so in fact, that I’ve gotten used to our late routine – 3 or 4 AM sleep, and 9 or 10 AM wakeup. My body has adjusted quite well to the change and I’m afraid it’s going to have a difficult time readjusting to early routine again.

Oh, I really hope summer vacation would last longer!

I’ve been feeling a little guilty lately about our baby (Anika). I can’t help but think that I’m giving her less than what I’ve given to mateo when he was still inside his mother’s tummy.

You see, when mateo was still inside, I used to talk to him a lot every night. We’d have our conversations even before he was born. With Anika, however, we only get to talk before sleeping. Our conversations are more or less limited to good mornings and good nights.

I don’t want to make excuses for myself, and I don’t want to use mateo as an excuse either. So I’ll just be making it up to you Anika.

I wonder how long would it take before I start feeling really old. Because at the moment, my mind refuses to accept that I just turned 29. I feel like I could still run and play like a 20 year old, and I’m hoping I still look like one.

As of the moment, I’m not bothered with hair loss for men yet. I still think my hair is okay despite some thinning around the crown. My eyesight is still good, well at least for my right eye. I don’t feel any pain in my joints yet although I’ve been having back spasms more frequently this past year than before.

Hey, wait a minute! I am feeling old already! Oh well, memory loss? Charge it to old age then! hehehe!

With less than a year to go now before I turn 30, I can’t help but wonder how far I’ve gone. Am I closer now to my dream of an independent family with a house and a car of our own? Or am still at square one?

Looking back at my 29 years, I’m really starting to feel the pressure of being the father of my own family now more than ever. As the years continue to move, my family keeps on growing and so do our needs. I’d like to think that I am capable of providing them with enough but it just does not seem that way.

So once again, I’m at a crossroad…

I’ve been here before once. Fortunately, people who are very special to me, were very instrumental in making andrea and I able to choose the easier path.

I find myself here again…

And I’ve been praying for signs this time. I need to find the right path on my own this time, whatever the consequence may be.

I just turned 29 last Saturday.

My morning started with a greeting and a song accompanied with a lighted cupcake from mateo. Afterwards, my parents came and brought some food.

For lunch, Andrea cooked a wonderful karekare, while her sister and her sister’s boyfriend bought roasted chicken.

There were no videokes or alcoholic beverages. We didn’t even have any guests. It was almost plain but it was great.

Perhaps, at 29, I’m a bit too old already because I was perfectly happy and satisfied with how simple the whole day was. I never felt the need to go out and drink. It never even occurred to me to invite people over, and yet it was great, or at least I felt that it was.

My family was there with me. Everyone was doing well. We were full with the food (that even lasted till the next day). Never mind if there were no click here fancy gifts, or lots of merriment, or even cake. I had what I wanted so I was happy. And my birthday could never be happier.