If I was to list one of my greatest regrets, one of top items in my list is my relationship with my brother.

Almost completely estranged, we see each other only during times when I visit my folks. He has stopped studying and ever since has hopped on from one job to another, finding no more than contractual work. Sometimes I do Legal job searches to see if there are some positions available for him but I just can’t seem to find something that matches.

We’ve had a falling apart that started when I was in high school. You see, back then, both my parents had to live and work in Taiwan. I was put in charge of my brother. And although we were left in the care of my grandparents, the greater responsibility of looking after him fell on my shoulders.

To cut the long story short, he fell into bad company. I’m not sure if it was sheer pressure or if I wasn’t able to establish a strong enough bond with him to protect him from such influences, but he became addicted to gambling. Along with my uncles and neighbors, he went into cock fighting, cards, and eventually into horse racing. Last I heard, he’s also into drinking now.

Of all the many disappointments that I had, my relationship with my brother is truly the most heart-rending. As long as I live, I will never stop reminding myself of what happened to him and what could have been if things ended up a little different.