After taking another ultrasound, andrea and I have finally had a bit of closure. Vivienne has gone back to heaven and mateo is not going to be a kuya, at least not yet, not for next year.

It was extremely difficult accepting that she’s gone despite having her for only 3 months. No wonder there are parents that go crazy after losing their children. Not only is it extremely depressing, but it’s also even more physically demanding than taking any weight loss diet pill, emotionally draining, and downright heartbreaking.

It’s only now that I fully understand the sorrow behind the words that King Theoden of Rohan (The Lord of The Rings) uttered: No father should bury his son. Parents are not supposed to outlive their children. We are willing to give up everything, even our lives, just so our babies can live on. And that goes the same for me, for andrea, and for vivienne.