For the past few weeks, one of my greatest source of joy and relief has been our little babsy. That’s why andrea and I always hurry home after school to see him. Especially now, just a month after turning 1, he can easily take away all frustrations and heartaches with his silly grin, and his new and mischievous antics.

And even though he’s a bit more reckless now than before and may have been breaking more things in the house, he more than makes up for it with his little hugs and drooling kisses. He’s more than a relief. He’s our precious little baby!

When andrea was still working in an insurance company, she kept on insisting that we buy an insurance plan for ourselves before having a baby. I, on the other hand, have always put off the idea because I thought that it wasn’t necessary. We were healthy. We were young. And we had better use for money than insurance. At least that’s what I thought at first.

But time and babies certainly have a way of changing one’s mind. Now that we have Mateo, we feel more pressured about our health. We are not just staying healthy anymore for ourselves but for him as well. If something were to happen to us, he would be the one to suffer most. At least, that’s how I think now.

So now, every disease, every accident-prone situation or trip is suddenly scary. The feeling of invulnerability has slowly disappeared while being replaced with a more dominant feeling of susceptibility. This is why we’re seriously considering getting an insurance policy as soon as possible. The only thing holding us back now is money and the selecting of the most appropriate plan for us.

Unfortunately, information about insurance companies and their available policies are not that readily available. That’s the basic hindrance. If only all insurance companies were like Coventry Healthcare Georgia, who provide online access to their policies, then it would have been easier to choose the perfect one for us. Especially for teachers like us who don’t have a lot of free time on our hands to personally go to offices and talk to agents, it would be so much help.

But anyway, that’s the plan. We’re getting one. It’s just a matter of selecting which is the best for us.

Ever since I’ve started handling advisory classes 4 years ago, I’ve never stopped evaluating and re-evaluating my teaching styles, methods and motives. Even up to now, I still do.

And in all those four years, this is probably the one when I doubted myself the most. Why? Because of so many failed expectations. You see, I start every year with a list of objectives for each class based on how I know them from the previous year/s. Then, I come up with goals for the whole group as well as goals for each individual, just like what I did this year.

From there, I work on a class with a pattern - a pattern which I’m sure a lot of other teachers and administrators use, a pattern which I thought was very effective until now. You see, each year I start with an advisory class by bearing my fangs, so to speak. This is to establish authority and strict adherence to the rules in class. Afterwards, I show my good side to acquire my students’ trust, but how quickly I soften up of course depends on how long it takes for them to learn how to obey rules. Then, once I have their trust, I work on each individual, because it’s easier and more effective to talk to them once trust is established. This has been my pattern for the past 3 years, and it is the same pattern I used this year.

This is also the reason why I have plenty of doubts. I used the same pattern this year, the same effective pattern, but produced very little this time and failed so many expectations. Does this mean that I am becoming obsolete? Is my pattern already outdated? Because if it is, or if I am, then I need to know. It would be useless to continue in this profession if I’m not going to be effective anyway, right?

And if there’s nothing wrong with me or my style, then where does the problem lie? How  most of my expectations were never met?

Last December, when we went to pick up andrea’s dad at the airport, we had a horrible time looking for a parking space. Well, obviously because it’s the yuletide season, a lot of people are coming home to spend Christmas with their families just like Papa, as I call him now.

But it doesn’t have to be that way, right? I mean it shouldn’t be. Because airport engineers have supposedly taken into account the number of people that an airport can accommodate. I mean, there is a maximum number of planes that it can hold, right? So there should be a fixed maximum number of passengers that should be waiting to be picked up at any given time. So I figured that somehow, this number should more or less be an indicator of how many people would come to pick up these passengers.  Just give or take a hundred, right? Divide that by around 2 to 4, then that should be the number of vehicles that an airport parking should be able to accommodate.

But I don’t think that’s the case here. That’s why it is so frustrating to go to airports nowadays. Well, maybe except if you’re going to Bradley International airport. You see, the Bradley Airport parking accepts reservations so you’re guaranteed a parking space even before going there. And coupled with additional valet services, internet services, and all sorts of extras, it’s just so convenient, isn’t it? I just hope all other airports offer the same services. Because if they do, then I’d gladly go to the airport anytime.

Just a few months ago, I was so amazed at how Mateo would try everything to get his mama’s attention every time his mama focuses on things other than himself - like, for example, when andrea works on the computer or when she’s on the phone.

Mateo would do all sorts of things from trying to pry the phone away from his mama’s hands to tugging on her shirt to make it look like he wants milk. He’s very jealous when it comes to andrea’s attention. So in the end, we would only be able to talk in peace or work in peace after he’s gone to sleep.

A few months ago, however, we’ve found his kryptonite. Andrea discovered something that Mateo found absolutely irresistible (even more than her) - Barney. So now, every time we need to work in peace or when we simply just want to take a quick break from him, we just play the Barney CD and that’s it. It might just be a few minutes, but it certainly is well worth it!

Looking back at my elementary days, one of the things that I miss are those class-disrupting drills for fire emergencies.

I don’t know exactly why but there was a time during one of my classes when I just suddenly remembered our elementary fire drills. I can still vividly recall the adrenaline-pumping sirens that sound in the middle of the day and the excitement that we all felt as we hurriedly but properly went downstairs, and reassembled outside the supposedly-burning structures. Maybe it was because I was in the middle of conducting an experiment involving fire, that’s why it just suddenly popped up. I don’t know.

What I do know is that I miss them. And although disruptive as they are, I think we should continue having these fire safety training and these fire drills just to make sure that we are prepared for such emergencies. Even our buildings and other structures should be re-checked to make sure we are capable of handling fire accidents. It is our children’s safety that is at stake after all.

Last Monday, because 2 of my advisory class’ teachers were out, I had to fill in for them. In effect, I had to look after my class all the way from the very start all the way to lunch. It wasn’t a very pleasant experience at all.

In fact, it was so tiring. And to make things worse, I wasn’t even conducting lectures. I was just there the whole time to remind them that they were supposed to work on several tasks - their science expo projects, their homework in ecology, guitar piece for music etc. I was the one getting overwhelmed with their load yet there seems to be no worry or even a single ounce of concern showing on their faces. Sorry, I take back what I said. It wasn’t tiring. It was frustrating.

Just imagine. I had to continue badgering them the whole time just so they’d move. Is this normal? Am I really still supposed to push them this hard to work? If these were elementary students, I suppose it’s alright. But they’re not. These are already 12, 13, 14-year old individuals. They’re already supposed to be thinking, talking, (to some degree) independent individuals who should be expected to handle themselves logically. But they don’t. The truth is, they’re behaving more chaotically than my grade 4 students.

What should I do? I am this close to my limit. A few more and they’d reach my breaking point. Can you blame me?

Before teaching, I worked sales for an international pharmaceutical company. I personally met up with prospective clients (doctors) to promote relationship with the company. That is what I did. Unfortunately, after 6 months of the same routine, I realized I didn’t have what it takes to last long in the profession. At least, that’s what I thought back then.

But now, 5 years after, I’m starting to think otherwise. You see, after 5 years of teaching, I realized that being a teacher is basically almost the same as being a sales agent. As teachers, we ultimately sell knowledge to students and eventually sell the school to parents. We talk with students to promote learning and we talk to parents to promote the school. It’s almost the same concept.

So now I wonder. Would I have made it big if I stayed in the pharmaceutical world? Or would I have been happier if I tried other field of sales like real estate?

Unfortunately, I wouldn’t know because I’m not qualified for real estate sales. But I could still try though because there are training centers out there that provide realtor training to those who would like to engage in the field. They even help with resources for licensing, designations, and all sorts of things. The question is would I?

I don’t think so.